In Other Words

Quick Cash

Was talking about a friend’s financial problems and I was reminded of something one of my teachers told me when I was still young, hip, carefree and sober (yeah, time sure flies, doesn’t it?). Anyways, this teacher type (actually, it might have been a professor) had this brilliant idea ‘how to get rich quick’ scheme, though apparently it was illegal. (Though that should hardly concern us, right? As long as we don’t get arrested).

We’re going to simplify things just a little bit, as I really don’t want to make this into a dissertation. I realise the world is a little more complex than this, but people are stupid, so it’s all right.

Ok, start off by looking at the stock exchange and finding a stock with a really dodgy future one that will either go up drastically, or down drastically. (for this example we’re going to assume that the stock will not stay the same). Ok, proceed to print 5,000 letters that give economic (and religious, scientific, whatever) evidence that the stock will go up and a short excerpt of your brilliant staff and company that will predict all stock fluctuations. Then print 5,000 similar letters that reverse that evidence and predict the stock going down. Send all over the world to different addresses (making sure you’ve got what letter goes where).

Wait

When the stock has gone what ever way it went ignore the group that you sent the wrong advice to and send a new letter to those 5,000 that you got it right with asking for a buck for another news letter (we’re going to assume they all say yes). Now, do the same thing as before 2,500 up, 2,500 down.

Ignore the group that you got it wrong with, charge 10 dollars for your new ‘expectation booklet’. 1250 goes up, 1250 goes down. Ignore the group that you got it wrong with, charge 100 dollars for your ‘sure fire book to reading the stock market’ (hey, you got it ‘right’ twice already). 625 goes up 625 goes down. Thousand dollars, 312 312, ten thousand. Run like hell. You get away and leave the 150 or so lucky people that became millionaires, because of your suggestions, to defend you in the public arena. While you go and hide in Bermuda with your fortune of nearly four million (cigar anyone).

5000 X 1
2500 X 10
1250 X 100
625 X 1000
321 X 10,000
= 3,990,000

10,000 gullible people aren’t that hard to find. Hell, fifty million people are voting Republican, you can start there.

posted by Symbol @ 31.8.04